Horrible Holiday

It's the June Holidays, and i'm very upset. Dad forced me to go for a church camp. I hate camps. I hate all those stupid games they play during camps. It's such a waste of time. I hate wasting time and I cannot emphasize that enough.

It's only the third day of this horrible holiday and how i wished it never started. Been trying to motivate myself to study but i'm guess i'm just plain lazy. I know, it's streaming year, i gotta work hard. Whatever.

It's just that i've been working so hard but results are still horrible. Been praying to God (sort of scolding and complaining though) and asking why He's not helping me, not giving me wisdom.

The answer: I NEED TO READ THE BIBLE AND START DOING DEVOTION.

Sigh. I have so many things that i want to do this holidays. But time seems to be passing so quickly. Too quickly. Somebody just kill me. I'm so confused with my life that i just want to die.

And time is running out. Just 4/5 more years before i get into a university. Where do i get so much money in such a short period of time?? And right after i graduate my sister would be going in. I'll need another sum of money. And what about my parents' retirement cost?!

Retirement age in singapore is now 62 but i'm obviously not gonna let my parents work at that age. I'll make them stop when they're 55. Which is in 8 years time. When i graduate from university. Where to get money for my sister?

My parents used to tell me to marry a rich person's son and i used to ignore them. Now i think i should start doing something about it. Hey, come on, i'm not evil or anything. Besides, i'm a christian. I won't cheat someone's feelings for money!

I'm too confused with my life and i'm too scared for myself.